Instinct - the Holy Ghost - Personal Revelation - Inspiration - GUT FEELING
No matter what religion you are, these things are sometimes all the same! I can't believe how much this pregnancy and birth have emphasized how important these things are.
Something I discovered about myself is I enjoy my comfort zones, I'm not really a fan of change. (It's odd, I thought I was a go-with-the-flow kinda gal.) I went to the same Doctor's office for 4 babies and 2 miscarriages, so of course I was going for this 5th baby. BUT I was experiencing some difficulties with the staff that I had previously... I would brush it off in the past, but this time it was seriously stressing me out. I was 29 weeks after an incident and many people were encouraging me to just stay there since it was so late. I even thought it was crazy to switch doctors 3/4 of the way through a pregnancy. The thought of staying just made me sick and stressed. I was also afraid of finding a new doctor and worried about how they would do with me, my c-section and my baby... but I took a leap of faith. I sought suggestions of a new Dr from friends and family, prayed a lot and approached the list. The one I ended up with (for many reasons) happens to be a girl (now a doctor, pretty short actually and delivering my baby - yikes) that went through school with my oldest sister (elementary- high school).
For a couple months, I would get strong braxton hick's contractions...but they were always after office hours (of course). I had an inverted "T" incision from Sariah's cesarean. This increases the risk of rupture to 10%. So we were planning on a repeat C-section this time. At different points in the pregnancy, I wanted to get the steroid shot (to assist baby's lungs to mature faster) because my fear would be having to deliver sooner than baby was ready. I didn't know why, but I just kept wanting to get it! Every time these contractions came, I would debate about going in to the hospital to have them monitored so my doctor would give me the steroid shot. On Friday, March 1st, I called and asked a nurse about getting it, but didn't press the issue. On March 4th, I said I REALLY wanted my doctor to talk to me about the shot.
March 5th, I felt a little pain but figured it was just fun pregnancy pains. I REALLY wanted to call Matthew to see if he could leave work early to take the boys to hockey practice to I could have a break. But I didn't. Of course, contractions started up again. After debating with myself and asking Matthew's opinion for a couple hours...That was the night I finally decided I will to go in and have it "on record" that I was contracting. I was 34 weeks on the dot. We called my mom to come watch the kids while we headed in. I was actually surprised Matthew WANTED to come, because I figured they would give me a muscle relaxant to stop contractions (or they would stop on their own) and it would be boring. On the way to the hospital, the contractions intensified. It hit me... and I cried, "oh no, what if I'm really in labor?!" It was too early and abnormal for me to go into labor this early. I knew a baby this early would mean having another one in the NICU (William was early due to pre-eclampsia). My heart sank.
Once on the monitor, it was true. The contractions were regular at 4 minutes apart and getting stronger. I was in tears. They gave me a pill to stop contractions as predicted... all it did was give me a headache. They started coming one on top of another. I progressed in dilation. Luckily my doctor was at the hospital for another patient, at this point, I only had ONE appointment with her.
When it was obvious my labor wasn't stopping, we headed in to prep for a c-section around 11:00pm. Once the operation began, my doctor discovered a ton of scarred tissue from my T incision, it was a mess. My uterus was fused to my abdominal wall. My whole right fallopian tube/ovary area was scarred up. I lost over 1 1/2 pints of blood. At one point, my doctor thought she would have to take my uterus because it just kept bleeding... as she went to sew up one spot, it would bleed where the needle went in...ugh
Julia was born 4 lbs 12 oz, 18" long at 12:47am on March 6th. She wasn't doing too well, and was taken to the NICU.
We had a difficult stay in the NICU for 19 days... details of that is a different post entirely.
She was home on trace oxygen for 2 1/2 weeks, but she was HOME.
The reason why I went into detail was to share my testimony in a "mother's intuition."
1 I felt strongly I needed to switch doctors. I am so happy I did because I am pretty sure I would have lost my uterus with the other doctor (a resident that hadn't faced this situation much before).
2 I felt strongly I needed to have a steroid shot and it remains a big regret for me... she wouldn't have gone home on oxygen. People might say, "you don't know that." But I do.
3 I chose to go in to get monitored that night to get contractions on record. I honestly had NO idea I was in real labor. Yet, something inside me said I needed to go in! She was transverse breech, so regardless of planned c-section or not, it would have ended up that way. If I went to sleep it off like I did all the other times, I would have awoken to full-blown labor or broken water... they could not have rushed through the c-section any quicker because of all the scarred tissue. If she was in distress, she may have suffered brain damage or death.
4 I had a strong desire to take it easy that day... but didn't. I do regret this. It could have given us a few more days or at least given me peace of mind that I did everything I could for my growing baby.
Whatever YOU call it, I know the Holy Ghost is not only real, but here to help us - in big things and small things. In ways that could save lives or just help us feel better. Julia is doing great now. She is 7.5 pounds and 2 months old! We all love her to pieces.
