Monday, December 8, 2008

Shocked... that I'm not shocked.

I know I just wrote a post. But something happened today.

While driving, I turned a corner at a light, turned back to see what Patrick did to Stephen, turned back to the road and SLAMMED on the brakes -- too late. I rear-ended another car.

Normally, if I have an incident related to the car, I'm bawling and panicking. Today, I was sorry, of course, but extremely and unusually calm. The other driver was fine, I was fine - the airbags didn't deploy. Even when I saw there was a nice, 8" crack on the lower fender and a 2" puckered dent at the edge of the trunk, I was calm. I apologized a couple times, simply dug out the insurance information, called the police, then my husband - which normally, I'm VERY afraid to do when I've made a mistake.

I do believe everything happens for a reason.

I ran through my mind what I did wrong/right today... I went to both my jobs and worked hard, said a sincere and thankful prayer (just 1 hour before the accident), was kind to the kids, ordered modestly at Carl's Jr (we go there once in a while when it's freezing outside so the kids can play)... Then it dawned on me. Perhaps this accident showed me the rewards of trust and faith in the Lord. In the past, I realized I wasn't having TRUE faith by having fear of the unknown, because that wasn't trusting him. I decided to let go of the fear several months ago. My calmness today is an honest reward to show that just because we have great faith or we're doing things right, doesn't mean trials and minor or major downfalls will not happen. Still, I know that He is with me. Let's just hope this wasn't the quiz and the TEST is coming.

I'm taking this opportunity to testify that, through all my faults and imperfections... and family issues... I know Heavenly Father is watching us and protecting us. It's extremely comforting and I appreciate Him revealing to me that He can bring me inner peace in a not-so-peaceful situation. If you haven't tried letting go of all your fears, there's no better time than the present. He offered to carry our burdens, just give them to Him! It's the best insurance you can possibly get yourself.

Amy