One Day - Shedding some of the load.

If you have not yet heard (One Day - by Matisyahu), please listen to it and read the words. I try to be positive... and I used to think that was a strength. Now I know it's not really a strength, but a defense mechanism. If I don't look at the positive, then the darkness around me will get me down. Our family is being shaken up right now. My life is busier now than ever before. I never knew Patrick going to school would add so much stress and pressure to my life - but it has. I feel like I fail him every minute he's late to school. This song helps me breathe, slow down and gives me inspiration.

sometimes I lay under the moon

and thank God I'm breathing

then I pray don't take me soon

cause I am here for a reason

sometimes in my tears I drown

but I never let it get me down

so when negativity surrounds

I know some day it'll all turn around

becauseall my life I've been waiting for

I've been praying for, for the people to say

that we don't wanna fight no more

they'll be no more wars

and our children will play

one day, one day, one day

Oh, these tangled webs we weave.

Let me just say I do not like family drama.

I am one who is fueled by passion and some times the things I say get misconstrued and even completely flipped to mean something different.

Anyway, the residing affects are mountains on my back, I'm sick to my stomach because of the ugly things that have come from it. I'm so sorry for saying it and I can't wait for this nightmare to be over. I'm especially sorry to Matthew because the residing ugliness is hurting him too. :(

Amy

Life on the new schedule

What a weird adjustment!

Matthew has made the change, he works days now. So I work 12:30-6:30 am and then he heads off and works 7am-supposedly 3:30pm... however, for 5 of the 6 business days he's worked this magical shift, he has yet to come home before 5:45pm... the overtime is nice for the pay, but sad for the day. I know that rhymes, I'm cool like that.

Anyway, it's nice to have him home in the evenings, we've given each other some time without kids, he's been great in helping me reach deadlines for homework and tests. I am so grateful for his support in me getting a degree, but holy cow I can't wait until it's over!

I decided I'm going into nursing, have I put that on the blog yet? I changed my mind and major so many times, it was a joke. I was about to cry my brains out and settled on this one and feel good about it. I wanted to know realistically if I could do anything with an associates, so I searched for nursing positions open right now in Utah and woo hoo, a lot of possibilities... so, the plan is:

Get my Associate's Degree at UVU and start working 2 night shifts/week while continuing to go to school for my bachelor's. The main difference between the two degrees is a leadership focus in the Bachelor's degree. You can be a nurse with good pay with an associates. The testing requirements are rigorous. You need a minimum of B- for the 10 main prerequisites to even apply... why does that word not look right? ANYWAY, if I don't die and can squeeze in the classes I need, I can accomplish the 10 prereq's between Fall and Spring semester and apply for the program to begin in the Fall of 2011. The UVU program is amazing, only open to 60 students at a time! It would take a miracle to get in, but as my brother Brian always says - go big or go home! (3.7 GPA for those 10 is my goal... I'm scared)

I still can't believe Patrick is going into kindergarten at the end of August, I'm going to look for a preschool for Stephen so he doesn't go crazy being stuck with an infant/toddler every morning for the whole year. Patrick's still in skating, doing well, but the level he's at now is really difficult, he may need to take it twice (the teachers say most kids take it 2-3 times!)... but this is the last level before HOCKEY - woo hoo!

Stephen is super cute, he has amazingly cute and helpful moments, but still behaves like a 3 year old... I seriously forget he's only 3 sometimes, not even 3 1/2... he has been speaking well since about 18 months old and potty trained by 2 1/2. Right now, he wants to go to school like Patrick - I think he'll always be trying to catch up to Patrick.

William william william, he loves being sick. Poor dude has been sicker than his brothers by far at this age. I don't know if it was the preterm thing, if he just has a weaker immune system genetically or if having 3 kids in the home brings in more germs. He had RSV that put him back in the hospital and on oxygen in March (I think I blogged about it), then a terrible ear infection & fever at the end of June/beginning of July (his ear drum burst) and for 1 1/2 weeks he had this cough and scratchy throat thing, and tonight his eye looked all red and irritated. I'm hoping it's nothing big and was just irritated by him poking himself in the eye with the pamphlet he was sucking on. He's addicted to paper. He even managed to pull a receipt out of my wallet and slobbered half of it away before I noticed. (fiber, right?)

One plus to Matthew's schedule change is he might start playing hockey for fun again, hopefully we can work it out in our insane schedule so he can have some fun. :)

GUESS WHAT???
I am turning 26 on Sunday and we are celebrating our 7th anniversary on Monday. Woo hoo!
I'll post something awesome when that time comes.