Julia Judene Garner

Instinct - the Holy Ghost - Personal Revelation - Inspiration - GUT FEELING

No matter what religion you are, these things are sometimes all the same! I can't believe how much this pregnancy and birth have emphasized how important these things are.

Something I discovered about myself is I enjoy my comfort zones, I'm not really a fan of change. (It's odd, I thought I was a go-with-the-flow kinda gal.) I went to the same Doctor's office for 4 babies and 2 miscarriages, so of course I was going for this 5th baby. BUT I was experiencing some difficulties with the staff that I had previously... I would brush it off in the past, but this time it was seriously stressing me out. I was 29 weeks after an incident and many people were encouraging me to just stay there since it was so late. I even thought it was crazy to switch doctors 3/4 of the way through a pregnancy. The thought of staying just made me sick and stressed. I was also afraid of finding a new doctor and worried about how they would do with me, my c-section and my baby... but I took a leap of faith. I sought suggestions of a new Dr from friends and family, prayed a lot and approached the list. The one I ended up with (for many reasons) happens to be a girl (now a doctor, pretty short actually and delivering my baby - yikes) that went through school with my oldest sister (elementary- high school).

For a couple months, I would get strong braxton hick's contractions...but they were always after office hours (of course). I had an inverted "T" incision from Sariah's cesarean. This increases the risk of rupture to 10%. So we were planning on a repeat C-section this time. At different points in the pregnancy, I wanted to get the steroid shot (to assist baby's lungs to mature faster) because my fear would be having to deliver sooner than baby was ready. I didn't know why, but I just kept wanting to get it! Every time these contractions came, I would debate about going in to the hospital to have them monitored so my doctor would give me the steroid shot. On Friday, March 1st, I called and asked a nurse about getting it, but didn't press the issue. On March 4th, I said I REALLY wanted my doctor to talk to me about the shot.

March 5th, I felt a little pain but figured it was just fun pregnancy pains. I REALLY wanted to call Matthew to see if he could leave work early to take the boys to hockey practice to I could have a break. But I didn't. Of course, contractions started up again. After debating with myself and asking Matthew's opinion for a couple hours...That was the night I finally decided I will to go in and have it "on record" that I was contracting. I was 34 weeks on the dot. We called my mom to come watch the kids while we headed in. I was actually surprised Matthew WANTED to come, because I figured they would give me a muscle relaxant to stop contractions (or they would stop on their own) and it would be boring. On the way to the hospital, the contractions intensified. It hit me... and I cried, "oh no, what if I'm really in labor?!" It was too early and abnormal for me to go into labor this early. I knew a baby this early would mean having another one in the NICU (William was early due to pre-eclampsia). My heart sank.

Once on the monitor, it was true. The contractions were regular at 4 minutes apart and getting stronger. I was in tears. They gave me a pill to stop contractions as predicted... all it did was give me a headache. They started coming one on top of another. I progressed in dilation. Luckily my doctor was at the hospital for another patient, at this point, I only had ONE appointment with her.

When it was obvious my labor wasn't stopping, we headed in to prep for a c-section around 11:00pm. Once the operation began, my doctor discovered a ton of scarred tissue from my T incision, it was a mess. My uterus was fused to my abdominal wall. My whole right fallopian tube/ovary area was scarred up. I lost over 1 1/2 pints of blood. At one point, my doctor thought she would have to take my uterus because it just kept bleeding... as she went to sew up one spot, it would bleed where the needle went in...ugh

Julia was born 4 lbs 12 oz, 18" long at 12:47am on March 6th. She wasn't doing too well, and was taken to the NICU.

We had a difficult stay in the NICU for 19 days... details of that is a different post entirely.

She was home on trace oxygen for 2 1/2 weeks, but she was HOME.

The reason why I went into detail was to share my testimony in a "mother's intuition." 

1 I felt strongly I needed to switch doctors. I am so happy I did because I am pretty sure I would have lost my uterus with the other doctor (a resident that hadn't faced this situation much before). 

2 I felt strongly I needed to have a steroid shot and it remains a big regret for me... she wouldn't have gone home on oxygen. People might say, "you don't know that." But I do. 

3 I chose to go in to get monitored that night to get contractions on record. I honestly had NO idea I was in real labor. Yet, something inside me said I needed to go in! She was transverse breech, so regardless of planned c-section or not, it would have ended up that way. If I went to sleep it off like I did all the other times, I would have awoken to full-blown labor or broken water... they could not have rushed through the c-section any quicker because of all the scarred tissue. If she was in distress, she may have suffered brain damage or death.

4 I had a strong desire to take it easy that day... but didn't. I do regret this. It could have given us a few more days or at least given me peace of mind that I did everything I could for my growing baby.

Whatever YOU call it, I know the Holy Ghost is not only real, but here to help us - in big things and small things. In ways that could save lives or just help us feel better. Julia is doing great now. She is 7.5 pounds and 2 months old! We all love her to pieces.

Like sand in the hourglass. :p

Boy is time FLYING BY!

Matthew got a job at the beginning of August and he is enjoying it! We both appreciate and recognize it's a huge blessing that our family can survive on one income.

If you're not following me on facebook, you may not know, baby #5 is on the way!!! We wanted to give my poor uterus a break from the c-section, this is the soonest we've had a baby join us after the previous - but obviously God has a different plan in mind! Our children are blessings, there are chaotic days, but I wouldn't have it any other way. What am I saying, every day is hectic and a roller coaster! We're still making it out in one piece, so something must be did right.

I'll share a couple pictures from our annual fall colors trip up the mountain (a whopping 15 minute drive!). Looove Utah in the Fall, it's just so amazing and beautiful to watch the leaves turn.

Patrick is loving school. We had a major hiccup between him and his teacher in the beginning, but I had a productive chat with her the next day. She actually listened to what I had to say and applied it and she's been AMAZED by how much he changed. She still follows up with me about the astonishing progress. :) This means a lot to me because sooo many teachers just categorize a child as "slow," a "trouble-maker," or "unmotivated." I could tell Patrick's kindergarten and 1st grade teachers didn't even try to know his personality. As soon as I told his 2nd grade teacher that Patrick is smart and can move quickly, she seemed skeptic. But I gave her tips on getting him motivated and keeping him on track. She used them and saw a completely different student. If every teacher was like her, the quality of education children receive would be multiplied!!!

Stephen also loves school and especially riding the bus. We found out why he likes riding the bus so much! At parent-teacher conference, the teacher told Matthew that Stephen is holding hands with his "girlfriend," we'll call her B. B's mom found out she had a boyfriend and expressed concern... I don't know WHY we weren't notified of this sooner. Sometimes it's a big deal and sometimes it's not.

Tangent: when I was taking a psychology course in college, my professor let me know of a DEAL she and her sister made with the kids in their families. If they didn't KISS anyone until 18, they would get a car. Now we all know teenagers. If they can make it to 18- FANTASTIC! If not... well, kissing isn't what's bad, it's what kissing can lead to - right?! 

After discovering B kissed Stephen on the cheek "six times" (who knows if it was 6, if it was JUST on the cheek or if it was ONLY B?!), I had a talk with Stephen and Patrick about how kissing is special and it's not right to do at such a young age. I told them if they don't kiss until 18, they will get to choose to have a car or scooter of their very own. (Our church just announced missionaries can serve missions at 18 now, so that number just changed to 20 - hallelujah! lol) They're both excited and think they'll make it! Good luck! ;)

William has been talking a LOT more... he's our guy that likes to move at his own pace, but he is finally growing up. I'm so proud of him, he's still so sweet and likes to cuddle up, and I'm okay with that. :)

Sariah is 8 months old! UNBELIEVABLE... kids really make time go by faster... but I still see them aging and consider my youth frozen in time. That's possible, right?

Ninja jellybean - K, without TMI for any male readers, I haven't had a M cycle since APRIL. But I felt pregnant, had a positive test on my b-day, negatives one week later, then positives a week after that. I went in the doc to see what was up - on ultrasound - NOTHING. My uterus was "flat," like no pregnancy... then one week later, we checked again, hello - there's a 6 week baby. They weren't sure on the size and not far enough for a heartbeat, so a couple weeks later, I had an ultrasound, healthy heartbeat and baby was up tightly against the side of my uterus, so hard to measure - but looked like 8 weeks. About 3 weeks later, a final attempt at measuring. 12.5 weeks - sounds good to me! Now I'm about 13.5 weeks. So this pregnancy has been SUPER. The least sick I've ever been. There was a month when I was exhausted and the house fell apart, now that the energy's back, I'm making up for it.

There you have it! - Our life in a diaper bag!

Much love and peace to all our friends and family <3 for="for" hanks="hanks" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" reading="reading">

Happy Anniversary!!!

One Ring

He took me on a hike. He explained that's where he went to pray about marrying me. Then Matthew said, "I asked one person a question here... now I want to ask you a question." He got down on one knee, and the rest is history! The ring was 25 cents from a little vending machine. haha

Two People

Matthew and I are SO different, but not opposite as most people explain... A peach is not opposite of a dime, they are just supremely different. We came from two very different families, we followed different rules and we had different expectations of eachother... yet, here we are. :)

 Three Words
I took an opportunity recently to read my journal around the time we became engaged and were newlywed. I threw the L word around a LOT. "I love him so much," "I'm so grateful for the love we have," "I am so in love!" I laugh at that girl now. The emotion of love is not what keeps a marriage going, it's the motion of love - truly an action word. I am happy to say when I express, "I love you," to Matthew now... it is a mountain of feelings, gratitude, partnership and faith all in ONE!

Four Beautiful Children
We were planning on starting kids after I had a degree. We changed our minds after a few months of marriage and I'm so glad we did! As great as it is to have time to get to know each other, it's mind-blowing how MUCH love one heart is capable of holding. Matthew and I are pretty good parents. We don't pretend to be perfect, because we are SO READY for bed time when it comes - but we love these precious spirits entrusted to us and they have blessed us tremendously!

Five Vehicles
We dated in a Ford Thunderbird. Our very first car was a Honda Civic hatchback - about ready to fall apart! Then we had a Kia Optima, then a Kia Sedona (mini van) for our growing family. Having children and trying to get to two places at once is hard! A couple years ago, we got a scooter. It's fun to have, our oldest two boys get rides and I enjoy the air blowing around me as I drive at night alone. The van and scooter are completely paid off and we have been pretty good at managing finances... okay, Matthew has been good at managing finances and I support him in it! haha

 Six Months
Those that know Matthew and I from the start know we were separated for six months in a rough time in our lives. He did not want to move out of his mother's house after our 2 month trial period in East Amherst, New York. Before we got there - I said me and the kids will go back to Utah if we don't get a place of our own after 60 days. I'm a woman of my word. Living with parents when you're marriage is full of holes isn't the greatest idea. I went through a little version of Hell living apart with 2 kids on my own. I had two jobs, one being graveyard so I could see my children during the day. I was ready to throw in the towel and had the divorce papers filled out. Matthew changed as a man and I also became a more patient wife. When Matthew came back to Utah, our marriage was better than I could dream. We have been strong and happy ever since. There are so many things I could guess that helped. But, I'll tell you this... somewhere in that 6 months, a miracle took place.

Seven Peaks

We have something called the Pass of all Passes - here in Utah. It gets us into many venues at no extra cost once you buy the pass. A few years ago, a company I worked for treated employees and their families to a day at Seven Peaks... so many of the water slides were out of order, and the one Matthew waited in line for was basically the slowest slide there! He hated it and never wanted to go back. I was so frustrated, it was like him judging a restaurant by the worst dish on a bad day. With the pass, I'd been going with the kids a lot by myself. Finally, I convinced him to go again. He had a blast! I made him acknowledge he misjudged it and apologize. haha We went again as a family for my birthday celebration and he took turns with the boys on the BIG slides and we just had so much fun. I tie this place into our "story" because it's far from monumental and far from perfect. But the time together with the sole purpose of having fun is priceless and it doesn't hurt to give something your spouse enjoys a 2nd chance. 

Eight New Years Fights

Something random. It's super hard for us to have a great New Year's Eve. Seriously, New Year's Eve between us is cursed. It's like the day we let it all out. Whether we are alone or with others, we do NOT get along on New Years! I remember ONE that we didn't fight. Hopefully that changes now. So odd - better on New Year's Eve than New Year's Day, right? Start it off with apologies?! ;)

NINE YEARS
I am crying right now at the end of this. I have so many emotions flowing over me. As an individual, I have SO MUCH growing to do. I know I can be a better woman, mother and wife. Still, our marriage is phenomenal. Matthew was laid off at the beginning of July and didn't get a new job until the beginning of August. There were a couple vacation-like days where we were lazy, a couple days I was like, "dude, can you wash a dish?!" and a couple where I was like, "wow, I need my space back." BUT I am so shocked at the bond I was able to observe between the kids, Matthew and I.... Our family works! The kids are helpful and obedient (not perfect, but can't ask for better!), the parents understand each other. If I need or want something, I get it or ask for it instead of hope Matthew offers it or reads my mind - women seriously need to stop that. Matthew applied himself, besides job hunting, to being on top of his chores and more around the house. We spent time together as a family and also split up with the kids to offer the other parent some space. The shocker is the fact that when Matthew's first day of work came, we MISSED each other!!! That is what people mean when they say they married their best friend. I married a man I fell for and he became my best friend. I love him so much and I choose HIM to spend time with. We're in this thing for eternity and I can't wait to see what comes next!!!

Just in case you were wondering, we've been married for 3,292 days. We are so blessed. Here's to a million more!