Wow, my facebook has so many purposes now... I think I want to dive back into blogging a little. This is our family blog and I hope the kids will come back and read it some time :)
What's in a name?
We've had a battle for naming baby number 6. Matthew wanted Hannah so badly and hardly considered anything else. I felt Hannah was a big NO for this girl... that name just seems so calm and gentle... it didn't fit her! She was growing in a war-torn uterus, endured my surgery like a little rock star and just said "STRONG" to me... She is coming in as number six, when we've started homeschooling and I'm overcoming health issues and such. So Matthew and I narrowed down names we both liked on a list and Danica stuck for about a month. A few weeks before she was born, it wasn't settling with me as names did for our other five children. They were all named way earlier in pregnancy and I loved it that way.
I was in labor and demanding that Matthew and I settled on THE name. He mentioned Erica. He seemed to like it, so did I. He looked up the meaning, the Norse translation: Forever Strong. YES, that's it! We didn't say it 100% for sure until she was born, but we love it and it fits her.
Patrick holds her as our extra pair of hands, which is GREAT! She is very trusting of him and Stephen holding her, and calms right down. I love those boys for dropping what they are doing to help with her. William loves her so much and often says out of the blue, "Mommy, I love Erica." awww! Sariah loves her too, and loves to hold her. Julia had NO desire to hold her or anything for about a week, once she held her, she was smitten too. She wanted to pat her head, kiss her and hold her every day ever since :)
She was born January 5, 2015. 5 pounds, 12 ounces, breathing amazingly well... had an unnecessary 5 day stay in the NICU, but we won't get into that! We are blessed and happy to have her and also very happy to say we're DONE. haha
I'll add pics later of course!
Monday, March 9, 2015
Friday, September 19, 2014
Imagining the worst, praying for the best.
Sometimes we are strong enough to live in the present. Sometimes we allow the fear of the unknown to take over.
When I thought of a mother dying and leaving a husband and children behind, I would wonder what-ifs... a car accident? Then after having 1 c-section, I worried about the 2nd one... a local mother of 6 children died during that 6th baby's section. Then I found out I had cancer. This cancer is usually not terminal. There are complications related to any surgery, any condition.
I don't want to leave my children.
A part of me wonders if that need to be with them has added to the motivation to homeschool. Discovering Stephen was at school all day with a concussion last April just hurt my heart. I want to make them feel better, all the time, day and night. How can I turn them over to people I don't know? To entrust those people with their education, social and mental well-being? Right now, I can't anymore.
The bond I have with them is something I can't explain, something I never expected. When they are healthy and happy - I feel like a millionaire, like all my dreams have come true. Though they don't always appreciate my rules and advice, they do love me, and they express it often. They come to me with problems and when they don't feel well. They know I will do my best to make it better.
Sometimes my fears of the future consume me. Like now. What if I'm not here one year from now? I can feel the burden placed on poor Matthew. The children will NEED to be cared for by someone else while he works to provide for them. I will feel like it's my fault.
In case I go... I will put things I want my children to know right here.
I LOVE YOU!!! I always have, I always will. Love is an action word, not just a feeling. God will not leave you alone, I will do anything I can beyond this life to comfort you and continue to show my love for you.
Be happy! Smell the flowers, dance to the music, sing in a traffic jam. Learn things because knowledge is power, and power will bless you and those around you.
Treat others as if they are just having a bad day. If you say something mean as a quick response, you will regret it. Just love others and treat them with respect - whether you think they deserve it or not.
LIVE your beliefs. You cannot turn it on and off, you shouldn't behave differently around different people. Learn who you are and what makes you happy, let those good parts of you seep all the way through and spread to those around you. The bad doesn't need to stay - you can always improve. Be at peace with who you are and do your best, not comparing yourself to others.
Be healthy! Don't put anything into your body because it's fun or convenient. Let the nourishment of your body be the motivation to consume any food or drink. I do strongly feel that the increases in disease and cancer could be corrected with a better diet. All good things in moderation. I will try to show that example for the rest of my life. I have some habits to break, it's not too late.
It is possible to be happy while being productive! You don't have to love the jobs or careers you have. Just surround yourself with positive people, be involved in good causes and have a happy attitude no matter what. Who we are with affects our happiness more than the career we choose.
Be financially responsible. Sometimes we are tricked to believe buying something to indulge or celebrate is worth a litttle debt... well that grows and becomes a prison. Spend only the money you HAVE, and save what you don't need right away.
Last of all... know that I'm sorry. I'm an imperfect person. I made many mistakes. I hope the good times overwhelm the bad moments. You are amazing children, I'm so proud of you. I am blessed to be your mom. HOW DID I GET THIS HONOR? I'll never know.
I hope I'm 90 years old, reading back on this, laughing at how dramatic I was bawling that day while I wrote this post. I will hope and pray for the best. But sometimes words need to be said while we have the chance. Thank you for enriching my life! Thank you for being the little heroes you are!
When I thought of a mother dying and leaving a husband and children behind, I would wonder what-ifs... a car accident? Then after having 1 c-section, I worried about the 2nd one... a local mother of 6 children died during that 6th baby's section. Then I found out I had cancer. This cancer is usually not terminal. There are complications related to any surgery, any condition.
I don't want to leave my children.
A part of me wonders if that need to be with them has added to the motivation to homeschool. Discovering Stephen was at school all day with a concussion last April just hurt my heart. I want to make them feel better, all the time, day and night. How can I turn them over to people I don't know? To entrust those people with their education, social and mental well-being? Right now, I can't anymore.
The bond I have with them is something I can't explain, something I never expected. When they are healthy and happy - I feel like a millionaire, like all my dreams have come true. Though they don't always appreciate my rules and advice, they do love me, and they express it often. They come to me with problems and when they don't feel well. They know I will do my best to make it better.
Sometimes my fears of the future consume me. Like now. What if I'm not here one year from now? I can feel the burden placed on poor Matthew. The children will NEED to be cared for by someone else while he works to provide for them. I will feel like it's my fault.
In case I go... I will put things I want my children to know right here.
I LOVE YOU!!! I always have, I always will. Love is an action word, not just a feeling. God will not leave you alone, I will do anything I can beyond this life to comfort you and continue to show my love for you.
Be happy! Smell the flowers, dance to the music, sing in a traffic jam. Learn things because knowledge is power, and power will bless you and those around you.
Treat others as if they are just having a bad day. If you say something mean as a quick response, you will regret it. Just love others and treat them with respect - whether you think they deserve it or not.
LIVE your beliefs. You cannot turn it on and off, you shouldn't behave differently around different people. Learn who you are and what makes you happy, let those good parts of you seep all the way through and spread to those around you. The bad doesn't need to stay - you can always improve. Be at peace with who you are and do your best, not comparing yourself to others.
Be healthy! Don't put anything into your body because it's fun or convenient. Let the nourishment of your body be the motivation to consume any food or drink. I do strongly feel that the increases in disease and cancer could be corrected with a better diet. All good things in moderation. I will try to show that example for the rest of my life. I have some habits to break, it's not too late.
It is possible to be happy while being productive! You don't have to love the jobs or careers you have. Just surround yourself with positive people, be involved in good causes and have a happy attitude no matter what. Who we are with affects our happiness more than the career we choose.
Be financially responsible. Sometimes we are tricked to believe buying something to indulge or celebrate is worth a litttle debt... well that grows and becomes a prison. Spend only the money you HAVE, and save what you don't need right away.
Last of all... know that I'm sorry. I'm an imperfect person. I made many mistakes. I hope the good times overwhelm the bad moments. You are amazing children, I'm so proud of you. I am blessed to be your mom. HOW DID I GET THIS HONOR? I'll never know.
I hope I'm 90 years old, reading back on this, laughing at how dramatic I was bawling that day while I wrote this post. I will hope and pray for the best. But sometimes words need to be said while we have the chance. Thank you for enriching my life! Thank you for being the little heroes you are!
Monday, July 29, 2013
July Update
Okay, every time I write on our family blog, I'm in shock and awe over how much time has passed. I cannot believe our sweet tiny Julia is almost five months old and Sariah is finally 18 months old (and in nursery now, holla!).
Matthew- is still working on apps for the iPhone and iPad and enjoys his job. He grabs the boys and heads off to the hardware store now and then trying to improve little things around the house and keep our yard alive. He is working hard and I promise that after one more bundle of heaven, I will stop adding to our medical expenses and we can actually get some bigger things around the house done!
Moi - I just finished my CNA course and I am dying to start working in a hospital, prefereably the Labor & Delivery department or Maternity floor. I have been a patient enough to know I will make an awesome CNA then nurse one day! I have published a breastfeeding eBook. wahoo!
Patrick - Is growing, is such a great big brother. He wants to sell his artwork already and is becoming more financially ambitious! I told him he can't sell his 15 minute pieces of art on a lined sheet of paper using crayon in 5 different directions for $100 and he had a breakdown. I showed him a YouTube clip of an artist showing a how-to drawing an eye. It looked amazing, and he understood it takes skill and more time to make a drawing great. He'll get there one day!
Stephen- Is dying to be older like Patrick.... he potty-trained earlier, could speak sooner and wanted to go to school sooner... he wants to do all the things Patrick can. I have given up on trying to get him to reach the point of logic that Patrick wasn't allowed to carry William as a newborn... so we'll just let him think we love Patrick more than him until it clicks one day. ;) He is a great big-brother too, cuddles and plays with Sariah a ton and helps out around the house a lot.
William- is having a hard time not staying young. He still tries to curl up in our lap like a baby and it drives us nuts that he cannot sit still for ten seconds. I am looking forward to getting him into pre-school so he will have playmates on his level.
Sariah- is still so stinking cute. She always has big smiles to offer and loves getting messy, maybe even more than her brothers did! That girl can bathe herself in mess with one chocolate chip, I swear. She is starting to say more words, still sucks on those two fingers and actually likes to sit on the potty now and then.
Julia- is still small for her age, but we LOVE it. It is rare to enjoy this tiny cuteness for so long, so we are just soaking it in. She is happy, healthy, trying so hard to roll back-to-front and drooling a ton. So I think we will see some rolling and teeth in our near future!
I love these boogers! <3 p="">
Matthew- is still working on apps for the iPhone and iPad and enjoys his job. He grabs the boys and heads off to the hardware store now and then trying to improve little things around the house and keep our yard alive. He is working hard and I promise that after one more bundle of heaven, I will stop adding to our medical expenses and we can actually get some bigger things around the house done!
Moi - I just finished my CNA course and I am dying to start working in a hospital, prefereably the Labor & Delivery department or Maternity floor. I have been a patient enough to know I will make an awesome CNA then nurse one day! I have published a breastfeeding eBook. wahoo!
Patrick - Is growing, is such a great big brother. He wants to sell his artwork already and is becoming more financially ambitious! I told him he can't sell his 15 minute pieces of art on a lined sheet of paper using crayon in 5 different directions for $100 and he had a breakdown. I showed him a YouTube clip of an artist showing a how-to drawing an eye. It looked amazing, and he understood it takes skill and more time to make a drawing great. He'll get there one day!
Stephen- Is dying to be older like Patrick.... he potty-trained earlier, could speak sooner and wanted to go to school sooner... he wants to do all the things Patrick can. I have given up on trying to get him to reach the point of logic that Patrick wasn't allowed to carry William as a newborn... so we'll just let him think we love Patrick more than him until it clicks one day. ;) He is a great big-brother too, cuddles and plays with Sariah a ton and helps out around the house a lot.
William- is having a hard time not staying young. He still tries to curl up in our lap like a baby and it drives us nuts that he cannot sit still for ten seconds. I am looking forward to getting him into pre-school so he will have playmates on his level.
Sariah- is still so stinking cute. She always has big smiles to offer and loves getting messy, maybe even more than her brothers did! That girl can bathe herself in mess with one chocolate chip, I swear. She is starting to say more words, still sucks on those two fingers and actually likes to sit on the potty now and then.
Julia- is still small for her age, but we LOVE it. It is rare to enjoy this tiny cuteness for so long, so we are just soaking it in. She is happy, healthy, trying so hard to roll back-to-front and drooling a ton. So I think we will see some rolling and teeth in our near future!
I love these boogers! <3 p="">
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