Trial and Error

I'm learning so much lately. For a long time now, I believed I learned a lot as a teenager, and only a little as an adult. I thought that I was growing slowly and had to try HARD to get an actual "life experience" once in a while.

"Distance makes the heart go fonder."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

"No pain, no gain."

None of those really meant much to me. Tonight I heard this one in a movie, "I wish there was a cookbook for life, you know? With recipes telling us exactly what to do."

"...It's the recipes you create, yourself, that are the best."

Some people that have eaten meals created by my hand know that the good ones came from the freezer or a box! I have prepared some successful dishes from start to finish, but they were never perfect on the first try. I may have some successful moments as a mother, but I was nowhere near perfection in the beginning, nor am I now. Still, I learn what works and what doesn't by trial and error, just like my mystery casseroles or experimental pork chops.

I love the life I have been given, and I'm lucky to have been in it long enough to know which choices bring happiness and which ones bring on the "tough days." I also know what I want, the problem is knowing which ingredients will achieve those results. Being the youngest member of my family, I think I gained a lot simply by observing my parents and four older siblings. I learned how to deal with death, depression, practice and being good at sports and musical instruments, no practice and failing at sports and musical instruments... I learned how the gospel of Jesus Christ applied in some way in every aspect of my life can turn a hum drum appetizer into an irresistibly delicious entree. In these times, we have every life lesson and skill in books - we have billions of recipes in tons of cookbooks recorded over decades.

Sometimes I know we could avoid errors by following the recipe laid out for specific problems we face in our families or society in the scriptures or history books, but sometimes we choose to experiment instead.

I guess keeping a journal is like writing down the ingredients and the consequences you tasted afterwards.

Well, without dumping all my mistakes on everyone, just know I'm doing my best, I'm learning my recipes by guidance from the Master Chef and also by trial and error. I love all my friends and family, past and present, who help contribute to my concoctions.

Thank you

Update

Hi everyone, there's nothing big to update you on. Me and the kids are still here in Orem, Utah. Matthew is still in New York. He had his first angry customers on the phone for HSBC, but he still likes working there. The rink has benefits he wasn't aware of, such as some hockey players paying him to stay on the ice a little longer. Matthew's boss calls them "tips," not bribes. :)

I'm trying to get as many hours in work as I can, my mom is watching the boys Mon-Wed and our friend Leslie is still watching them for me Thursdays and Fridays. Patrick and Stephen love the crafts and activities with Grandma and look forward to playing with Leslie's boys - so both are a good balance for them. I love being back in my old ward and still love our apartment. I'm used to the bugs now - yay for basements!

The cats are great with the kids too! They used to avoid the boys at all costs, but now they're so good with them. Especially Buddy, he'll be pathetically still while Stephen attempts to pick him up again and again. Poor guy.

Matthew's coming for a quick visit this Friday and I am SOOO excited! It will be fun to see each other after being apart so long. As far as we can tell, things are staying the way they are until May. Other than 3 weeks of me and the kids spending Christmas in NY... we'll see how that goes.

We love you all, we appreciate you and we hope your lives are going well! There's nothing predictable about it, I hope it eventually takes you where you WANT to end up!

Love, Amy, Bumblebee and Batman(their Halloween identities)

Made it safely!

Me and the kids drove to Utah with two cats over the course of 3 days. I didn't have internet access until today. Something funny, I decided to drive an extra 104 miles just for kicks. I didn't turn in Heber to head down to Provo, I went 52 miles down the curvy, dark mountain, until I gave in and called Matthew about where I was supposed to turn. Going back, I saw there was construction blocking the turning lane and sign for Provo, even though I'm sure there was another one previously that I missed.

We're here, we're settled. I love the babysitter I hired for the kids 3 days a week, then Leslie, a friend for a long time, is watching them for a while 2 days a week. It will be fun for the kids to have other children to play with on week days.

I don't know what the future holds or how long this situation will be, but I feel really good about it. Our travels went smoothly, even among terrible weather, the apartment is great, the kids have adjusted so well. Life would be perfect if Matthew was with us and working at a job he loved at the same time. He's enjoying his jobs so far, has met people to socialize with already and seems to be in the flow of his schedule. He definitely feels like the odd man out when it comes to coffee drinking. Everyone in his orientation class, including the teacher, drinks 2 cups before lunch. He's already been invited to Happy Hour and others welcomed the fact he wouldn't be drinking and said he's the designated driver. Yay for life outside the bubble.