First, me and the boys made a sudden trip to California to purchase a camera from an old friend for my boss and also stay with Great Grandma, Great Grandpa and Great Aunt Suzy Garner . They were very loving and welcoming... and forgiving when the boys discovered the little porcelain town was not a toy! Thank you for such a warm and loving Christmas!
This year will be no easier than the past, I'm afraid. I sure do hope it brings every member of our little family MORE happiness and MORE comfort and MORE success than ever before.
I don't know how the future will unfold, but I hope everyone understands that we're doing our best and thinking everything through. We talked about the goal-making process in church today as part of a lesson, and the first step is to evaluate. An unwilling, bitter part of me has NO desire to look to the past year, or the past several years, for that matter. But, that would be ungrateful and childish. Just because things don't go as I planned, doesn't mean it wasn't meant to happen and there's nothing I can gain from it.
I gained a lot of good from the past, and the good comes with bad. Matthew is a great father and I know it hurt him to be away from the boys for four months. We're looking forward to having the kids back with him for 2 weeks starting Tuesday! The boys have been amazing to me and they've helped me grow more than I ever thought was possible.
Patrick is into quoting lines from Toy Story, Cars and Polar Express... some things don't come out so clear and sound pretty bad - we're working on enunciation!
Stephen screamed when he was sick and realized the immediate response he got from me and used it the last few days. I'm attempting to time-out it out of him, we'll see how that goes. He's still catching onto words very quickly and I witnessed Patrick calmly repeating a word to Stephen 3 or 4 times while Stephen repeated it back, trying to say it right each time. It was awesome to witness Stephen's will to get it exactly right and Patrick being such a great teacher. No wonder he's speaking so well!
I love you all and wish you a Happy New Year!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
This Holiday Season has been extremely strange and hard for me to enjoy. Not due to anybody, but I wanted Patrick to think Christmas was on the 6th of January... I didn't have money or time for presents for the kids, or anyone, for that matter. With unexpected bank & credit card issues, and other expenses, money's still tight, despite working two jobs.
Thanks to the efforts of my loving ward, this past Sunday morning, a gentleman came with 2 bags full of presents for the boys and myself. I cried for at least an hour, and now again, just thinking about it. The boxes could be empty and still have the same effect. I never told anyone in the ward I was struggling, and didn't complain. These gifts are a reminder that our Savior is watching over us, God cares about us and loves us. Just to know they were thinking of me and the boys means SO MUCH, words cannot describe it.
My sister and Mother have been a GREAT help, they will never know what they mean to me. Now that they're out of town, I'm definitely able to see exactly how much they've been helping me. Finding people to help out was difficult, for the graveyard shift and some day time hours. But loving people came through! I have and will be receiving help with the boys from: My brother and his wife (on top of their 4 children!), a couple from my old ward (Thank you, Hill Family), a few sisters in my current ward, including a nice sister that watched me and my siblings when I was a child! Thank you so much, everyone!!!
My mom placed a few Christmas decorations around the house over the past few weeks that brought the realization of the season into my home... then this evening, my dear friend, Pam, who was helping me with the boys, put beautiful christmas lights up in the living room and some crafty candy canes for our little $8 tree! Thank you, Pam, the boys love the lights.
It's so sad to be away from Matthew, luckily we'll have a delayed Christmas with him at the beginning of January.
This Christmas will be the most memorable of my life. Feeling so much love and support from friends, family and strangers than ever before!
Thanks to the efforts of my loving ward, this past Sunday morning, a gentleman came with 2 bags full of presents for the boys and myself. I cried for at least an hour, and now again, just thinking about it. The boxes could be empty and still have the same effect. I never told anyone in the ward I was struggling, and didn't complain. These gifts are a reminder that our Savior is watching over us, God cares about us and loves us. Just to know they were thinking of me and the boys means SO MUCH, words cannot describe it.
My sister and Mother have been a GREAT help, they will never know what they mean to me. Now that they're out of town, I'm definitely able to see exactly how much they've been helping me. Finding people to help out was difficult, for the graveyard shift and some day time hours. But loving people came through! I have and will be receiving help with the boys from: My brother and his wife (on top of their 4 children!), a couple from my old ward (Thank you, Hill Family), a few sisters in my current ward, including a nice sister that watched me and my siblings when I was a child! Thank you so much, everyone!!!
My mom placed a few Christmas decorations around the house over the past few weeks that brought the realization of the season into my home... then this evening, my dear friend, Pam, who was helping me with the boys, put beautiful christmas lights up in the living room and some crafty candy canes for our little $8 tree! Thank you, Pam, the boys love the lights.
It's so sad to be away from Matthew, luckily we'll have a delayed Christmas with him at the beginning of January.
This Christmas will be the most memorable of my life. Feeling so much love and support from friends, family and strangers than ever before!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Shocked... that I'm not shocked.
I know I just wrote a post. But something happened today.
While driving, I turned a corner at a light, turned back to see what Patrick did to Stephen, turned back to the road and SLAMMED on the brakes -- too late. I rear-ended another car.
Normally, if I have an incident related to the car, I'm bawling and panicking. Today, I was sorry, of course, but extremely and unusually calm. The other driver was fine, I was fine - the airbags didn't deploy. Even when I saw there was a nice, 8" crack on the lower fender and a 2" puckered dent at the edge of the trunk, I was calm. I apologized a couple times, simply dug out the insurance information, called the police, then my husband - which normally, I'm VERY afraid to do when I've made a mistake.
I do believe everything happens for a reason.
I ran through my mind what I did wrong/right today... I went to both my jobs and worked hard, said a sincere and thankful prayer (just 1 hour before the accident), was kind to the kids, ordered modestly at Carl's Jr (we go there once in a while when it's freezing outside so the kids can play)... Then it dawned on me. Perhaps this accident showed me the rewards of trust and faith in the Lord. In the past, I realized I wasn't having TRUE faith by having fear of the unknown, because that wasn't trusting him. I decided to let go of the fear several months ago. My calmness today is an honest reward to show that just because we have great faith or we're doing things right, doesn't mean trials and minor or major downfalls will not happen. Still, I know that He is with me. Let's just hope this wasn't the quiz and the TEST is coming.
I'm taking this opportunity to testify that, through all my faults and imperfections... and family issues... I know Heavenly Father is watching us and protecting us. It's extremely comforting and I appreciate Him revealing to me that He can bring me inner peace in a not-so-peaceful situation. If you haven't tried letting go of all your fears, there's no better time than the present. He offered to carry our burdens, just give them to Him! It's the best insurance you can possibly get yourself.
Amy
While driving, I turned a corner at a light, turned back to see what Patrick did to Stephen, turned back to the road and SLAMMED on the brakes -- too late. I rear-ended another car.
Normally, if I have an incident related to the car, I'm bawling and panicking. Today, I was sorry, of course, but extremely and unusually calm. The other driver was fine, I was fine - the airbags didn't deploy. Even when I saw there was a nice, 8" crack on the lower fender and a 2" puckered dent at the edge of the trunk, I was calm. I apologized a couple times, simply dug out the insurance information, called the police, then my husband - which normally, I'm VERY afraid to do when I've made a mistake.
I do believe everything happens for a reason.
I ran through my mind what I did wrong/right today... I went to both my jobs and worked hard, said a sincere and thankful prayer (just 1 hour before the accident), was kind to the kids, ordered modestly at Carl's Jr (we go there once in a while when it's freezing outside so the kids can play)... Then it dawned on me. Perhaps this accident showed me the rewards of trust and faith in the Lord. In the past, I realized I wasn't having TRUE faith by having fear of the unknown, because that wasn't trusting him. I decided to let go of the fear several months ago. My calmness today is an honest reward to show that just because we have great faith or we're doing things right, doesn't mean trials and minor or major downfalls will not happen. Still, I know that He is with me. Let's just hope this wasn't the quiz and the TEST is coming.
I'm taking this opportunity to testify that, through all my faults and imperfections... and family issues... I know Heavenly Father is watching us and protecting us. It's extremely comforting and I appreciate Him revealing to me that He can bring me inner peace in a not-so-peaceful situation. If you haven't tried letting go of all your fears, there's no better time than the present. He offered to carry our burdens, just give them to Him! It's the best insurance you can possibly get yourself.
Amy
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